“What about you? How are YOU?”

One day, I was speaking by telephone to a group of team members based at another location, who had called to ask me a question. After I had answered, I asked if everyone was ok, which is normal for me. They answered in the affirmative. Then one of the employees said something which I didn’t quite hear. I started to say something random and then something told me to ask her to repeat. The Manager repeated what her team member had said. “She said ‘what about you. How are YOU?'” That one question left me speechless.

As an HR practitioner as well as a past Hospitality professional, I have been accustomed to putting everyone else’s needs before my own. It is second nature. I am the one usually asking colleagues how they are, checking on them to make sure everything is ok. Even when I was working 10 – 13 hours each weekday, plus several hours on the weekend (which was the case for most of the last 2 years,) I would have as my focus, the needs of the employees and whatever projects I was working on to make their employment experience better. Some days I’d gobble down lunch in a quick minute, while standing up or while simultaneously working at my desk. I’d be stuck at my computer for most of the day, sometimes even forgetting to drink water. Then I’d go home, work some more, get little sleep and dream about work matters. I felt heavy under the pressure to deliver.

After the shock wore off, I thanked them profusely, while getting a little emotional, and shared that it wasn’t often that I get asked that question. It reminded me of how Meghan Markle responded while away on tour soon after giving birth to her first child and the journalist asked her how she was.

Do we always remember to check on other people? Or is it expected, like in the case of an HR practitioner, or a manager, that they don’t have feelings, they are not suffering under the weight of work, which might be intersecting with personal issues they are grappling with?

It’s certainly something to think about. Is your colleague ok? Every once in awhile, please ask them. You never know what someone else is going through. That one question may be just what they need to keep going.

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